We are people who fear making commitments to ourselves. We have been disappointed so often that we came to see it as acceptable to let ourselves down.
Growing Spiritually
I’ve come to understand that control is fear-based and more importantly, largely an illusion. On my good days, the only thing I’m in charge of is myself. On my great days, I’m not in control of me – my Higher Power is. I surrender on a daily basis – asking my Higher Power to work through me to give and receive.
How to Stop Hating the Holidays
The holidays are once again upon us. It’s time to dread upcoming visits with family members, bemoan our financial insecurity, and look forward to the coming New Year with unbridled panic: ‘Tis the season to be incredibly stressed out. It’s Sad not S.A.D. Depending on your geography, this is
Never Face Fear Alone
Recovery is a lifelong process designed to promote health, manageability, and sustainability. Yet there are times when we have to do things we’re not ready to do because life circumstances demand it. Like a recovering heroin addict who has to take pain medication following a major surgery or having to take a job that isn’t conducive to your recovery because the bills must be paid.
Taoism and Recovery
One of the many joys of having an addictive personality is chronically doing too much. It’s way too easy for me – everything in my life is really great stuff. All of my problems are good problems. On mornings like this one, my head is spinning in an effort to gauge what it is I should be doing right now.
When You’re Down and Don’t Know Why
A big part of recovery is noticing habits that don’t serve us and replacing them. Sometimes it’s as simple as identifying an emotional reflex. Example: Sometimes I catch myself feeling down and my brain immediately sets out to investigate why that is.
Overcoming Hypervigilance in Addiction Recovery
Seeking safety is a spiritual undertaking. It requires connection and a shift in awareness. Hypervigilance is constantly scanning for threats. Serenity is knowing that either no threat currently exists or that we’re equipped to deal with it if there is one. This is not something we can do alone. We need progressively more safe people and safe places.
The Fear of Getting Better
Like most aspects of recovery, getting better is counterintuitive in that it’s generally terrifying. When we’re not sure how to be, we entertain the option of shooting ourselves in the foot, just to get back to the familiar.
How to believe in yourself
My clients often share with me, “I’ve never felt good enough”. Whenever I hear this I immediately ask, “For who?” This is met with either a blank look or a long list. Either way, it goes back to childhood. While we cannot change our past, we must consider how lessons
Overcoming the Fear of Step Four
There’s an adage my friends in AA use to describe the fear of transformation, “One, two, three… drink. One, two, three drink.” This is a reference to working steps 1-3 in recovery, only to return (often briefly) to drinking and using.