Self-deception is part and parcel to addictive thinking. As we grow in our recovery, let’s move toward rigorous honesty with sef and avoid these pitfalls.
1. I’m fine (or rather, F.I.N.E.) Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic & Evasive
Our ability to think our way out of feelings is our downfall and we treat denial as though it is an art form to be perfected.
2. I’ve got this!
We are people who live at the extremes and we tend to push every limit (our own and others). In the midst of all we seek to achieve and become, we must learn self-discipline. Specifically, time management, prioritizing, and moving away from the firehouse management style that too many of us rely on (always putting out the biggest fire/problem).
3. I’ll get to that!
Even those of us who are overachievers engage in procrastination. My experience is that procrastinating is almost always fear based behavior and it tends to result in both dread (anticipating and experiencing pain before the pain arrives) and copious amounts of stress (we believe we thrive on it but our bodies disagree).
4. I’ll get over it
Through the course of recovery, we learn that the old adage is true: “Can’t get over it, can’t go around it, gotta go through it.” When we tell ourselves to “get over it” what we’re really doing is simply ignoring it.
5. I’m okay now
We are insecure people who want to feel safe and stable. While there are countless good ways to improve our lives, we remain fearful of connecting with others and allowing them to help us. Instead, we mind-fuck ourselves with sweet sounding lies. We rely only on ourselves, and lack accountability for our goals.
6. I just want to be happy
Pay attention to the way people in addiction and in early recovery. The word “just” is never used in a healthy way. When we say we “just” want something, what we’re really doing is wallowing in self-pity and not working effectively toward our goals. Happiness is fleeting and all in all, a lousy goal. Pursue joy, contentment, serenity, good health, and strong relationships. Those endure.